Have you taken your pills yet?  Have you had dinner?  Did you get your shower done?  Did you go on your walk dad?  What time did you get up?

All these questions (and many more) are phrases that many children find themselves asking their elderly parents daily.  Not surprisingly, and even though it might be a necessary routine to go through, many elderly parents see these constant questions as a threat to their sense of independence, and children may find them tiring.

The constant monitoring, despite the fact that it may be an essential step in making sure that an elderly parent is continually safe and well cared for, can put undue stress and strain on a family relationship.  Some elders even find themselves withdrawing and becoming defensive when asked these questions over and over each day, feeling as though they are being nagged by their kids.  Kids don’t like to feel like they are nagging their parents either.  It is an uncomfortable situation for both.

A new product called Lively might be able to give your parents some breathing room while still keeping them safe.  Not only is Lively an emergency alert system (think Lifealert, “Help, I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!” [cringe]), but it also includes a set of sensors that can be attached to medicine boxes, the refrigerator, the shower door, front door, etc.  These sensors report back to an online dashboard that kids, caregivers, or other parties (with permission of course) can use to see when they were last accessed.

From the Lively website, here’s a rundown of how the devices work.  The creators also say that they are working on built in fall sensors and other features.  The key to the system is a watch that the senior can wear, which also includes a pedometer.  Why a pedometer?  Kids can monitor the readings to make sure that their parents are up and moving on a regular basis.  When a parent slows down, it can be a sign of a health issue or other problem.

Lively co-founder David Glickman explained to Huffington Post, “The [emergency] button is only one part of the experience.  The idea was to come out with something that was there for the emergencies and with sensors — a tool that helps with the prevention side as well as offering peace of mind. If you have an overall sense of things like eating patterns, routine and that sort of thing, then this can change the conversation that happens between adult children and loved ones that have products like this.”

The watch is available in several colors and the bands are interchangeable.  Seniors can wear the item without feeling like they have a huge glaring alert pendant pointing out the fact that they are no longer able to safely live without outside help.  The system is available for a one-time fee for the devices (pretty reasonable at $49.95) with a monthly subscription fee for the ongoing services.

Constant monitoring will always be hot button issue for seniors and caregivers.  There will always need to be a balance needed between autonomy and privacy for seniors and care monitoring, but devices such as Lively, which can monitor without cameras or other directly invasive measures, might be a big step in the right direction.

After watching thousands of clients struggle through a journey they are often severely unprepared for, and following my own experiences when caring for my own aging parents, I created the ElderCare Ready series as a step-by-step guide for family caregivers.  The ElderCare Ready Book explains the importance of being prepared emotionally, physically, and legally, and describes what needs to be done to prepare.  The ElderCare Ready Pack is a 200+ page step-by-step guide, and once completed by the reader, it packs the necessary information for your eldercare journey.

In my 34-year practice in elder law, I have found that the need to care for an aging family member often sneaks up on everyone involved, and procrastination exaggerates the problem exponentially.  Both adult children and their parents tend to avoid thinking about getting sick or old.  But when the crisis eventually occurs, as millions of families have already discovered, it is more difficult to cope with the uncertainly, stress and confusion of eldercare due to a lack of clear understanding and preparation.  Sadly, by the time people call me, they are usually in crisis mode.  I created the ElderCare Ready Book and ElderCare Ready Pack so people can prepare for their eldercare journey and alleviate the accompanying stress as much as possible.

The ElderCare Ready Book and ElderCare Ready Pack teach readers what to expect, help them to prepare ahead of time, demystify the confusing process of eldercare, and provide a clear path forward.

The Book and Pack are broken down into 10 categories: Personal Information, Contacts, Medical Information, Current Living Situation, Desired Facilities, Pets, Financial, Estate Plan, Service Providers, and Miscellaneous.

The importance of collecting this information cannot be overstated.  You need information when you have to act for your elder, especially if they are not mentally capable of making legal decisions.  I advise clients to collect this information NOW when there is no crisis at hand and while your elder is as mentally competent as possible to assist you.

This blog was created to keep everyone updated on eldercare issues, and to share helpful information and stories.  Comments on these posts are always welcome.

My ElderCare Ready Book and ElderCare Ready Pack are available at Amazon.com.  Check out the links for both books on the sidebar over to the right.  Enjoy!

If you have ever lived with a senior, you know that having good meals (and having their meals on time!) is usually pretty important business in their book.  However, shopping for groceries and cooking can be one of the biggest challenges for seniors.  Many elderly Americans find themselves either unable to shop or cook because of physical limitations, or simply have a lack of knowledge about how to make healthy meals because their spouse or partner has passed.

This week, NPR correspondent Ina Jaffe wrote about a new company called Chefs for Seniors, co-founded by 21 year old Nathan Allman and his father Barrett Allman.  Nathan’s grandmother had entered an assisted living facility when she could no longer cook for herself in her own home.  However, she did not feel at home there, and her family thought that if they could overcome her inability to prepare her own meals, she may have been able to continue living at home with a greater degree of independence.

Click the image below to read Jaffe’s article at NPR.com:

Nathan’s father had been a chef for 22 years.  Together, Nathan and Barrett started a business in their home state of Wisconsin that now has 50 to 60 senior clients and employs 10 chefs.  They are able to provide affordable (clients pay an average of $45 to $75 a week) and healthy meals to seniors in their own home.  The chefs at Chefs for Seniors come in once a week and prepare a week’s worth of meals for their clients.  The process starts only after a personal consultation with each client, to make sure that the chefs prepare meals that suit the seniors likes and dislikes, while also providing balanced and healthy food options.  The chefs also provide a friendly face and a bit of conversation for their clients each week.

Jaffe cites studies that show that a great number of seniors in America are malnourished.  There are many services that bring meals to seniors from outside kitchens, but few that actually take the time to consult with a client about their individual wants and needs and prepare the meals in their own home, tailored to their specifications.  Hopefully more services like this one will become available in other parts of the US.  There is definitely a need for a senior-specific service like this one to bring a more personal experience to seniors who wish to remain at home despite the fact that they can no longer cook for themselves.

Abundant human interaction is arguably one of the best ways for an aging person to enjoy a great quality of life in their elderly years.  It is also the best way for young people to learn a new language.  The human connection is what makes both of these seemingly unrelated situations meaningful.

Tim Nudd of Adweek.com reported on FCB Brazil, who, in Partnership with the CNA Language School in Liberdade, Brazil, has found a way to bring young Brazilian students and older Americans together in a way that benefits both.  This project is called the Speaking Exchange and it uses webcams that allow the residents of the Windsor Park Retirement Community in Chicago to chat with Brazilian language students, with the aim of helping the young students to learn English through natural conversations with native speakers.  CNA plans to implement the program in all 580 of its language schools around Brazil.

Click the image below to read Nudd’s article on Adweek.com:

The residents of Windsor Park have the opportunity to help the students with their English speaking skills and in turn, they are able to form gratifying and uplifting relationships with the younger learners.  Particularly for the aging residents, the experience is gratifying as it allows them to share their experiences and to play an important and helpful role in the development of the students.  Although Windsor Park is known for its variety of social outlets for its residents, and the people who live there may not necessarily be universally labeled as “lonely elderly Americans”, there is no doubt that the experience is enriching for both the residents and the students.

Cultural awareness is also something that is invaluable for young people in an increasingly technological society, and having everyday interactions with people from other countries (and other generations) is invaluable in teaching perspective and appreciation for other cultures, and in particular, value for older persons and the potential for their importance to society past their working years.

Researchers are finding that music, art, and dance may be the key to improving mood and quality of life for those with age-related disabilities such as Alzheimer ’s disease.

Frederick Kunkle, a writer for the Washington Post, penned this article last week which noted that recent studies are focusing on the impact of the arts on elderly persons who have cognitive disabilities.  Click on the image below to read Kunkle’s article at  the Washington Post:

These studies differ from previous inquiries covering these diseases and the arts, as they are looking at the impact of the arts on the well-being, general happiness, and mood of patients, rather than simply looking at biological improvements in memory.  Kunkle also noted that previous studies were often too narrow or poorly controlled, and that these new studies were more thorough and took into account the wellbeing of the patient as a whole.

These researchers are being supported by the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA) and the National Institute of Health (NIH).   NEA department head Sunil Iyengar stated that these new studies were covering topics that researchers have tended to underplay in the last few years, such as how the arts can provide meaningful and measurable improvements in mood for both Alzheimer’s patients and their caregivers.

If you have ever had a family member who has suffered from an age related illness such as Alzheimer’s disease or dementia, you can understand how important mood and well being is for both the elderly person and their family and caregivers.   These diseases most often cause drastic changes in overall mood, making sufferers more aggressive, irritable, and hostile.  These studies are showing that exposing seniors to music, art, and dance can have a very measurable positive impact on their mood.

Kunkle’s article notes that dance and movement have been shown to help older persons avoid falls.  Reducing fall risk is hugely important for elderly persons, as a fall can put a person out of commission for a long time and have a drastic impact on their health.  The article also notes that music has been shown to help elders remember positive past experiences and to be more engaged in their communities, particularly in assisted living and other senior community settings.

In one assisted living facility in Mannassas, Virginia, resident George D. Moseley (70, suffering from paranoid schizophrenia) said that his training as an artist “…helps me to manage and cope, and have a positive attitude.”  He went on to say, “The paintbrush and the art give me an outlook and a feeling of serenity and peace, love, and joy.  The paintbrush is the treatment for all else that has failed.”  George is pictured below, next to a mural he has painted in an empty resident room:

Many senior living communities, assisted living facilities, and memory care facilities are already putting art, music, poetry, and dance within reach for their residents.  Hopefully this trend will continue and new studies will prove that the arts can improve the well being and quality of life for those who suffer from dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

Uber (a relatively new transportation provider that is designed to compete with traditional taxi companies) has been in the headlines this week for their less than professional price spike during the Sydney hostage crisis.  They also facing pressure in other arenas, such as a new law in France that effectively banned their services in that country.  France mandated that drivers for hire must have professional licenses and qualifications, which will put most Uber drivers out of service in France after January 1.

However, there seems to be a bit of positive press for Uber as well.  As noted in this article published by assistedliving.com, Uber is now offering ride services for seniors who are unable to drive on their own, or for seniors who do not have family members or friends available to provide them with transportation when they need it.  Uber calls this new specific service offering “UberASSIST”.  Click on the image below to read the article.

With UberASSIST, potential customers will be able to specify if their transportation provider (Uber driver) will need to have a wheelchair-friendly vehicle.  This is an important issue for seniors who might have trouble fitting into a standard vehicle due to their medical device, wheelchair, or other mobility needs.  Uber also notes that drivers who are equipped to provide UberASSIST rides have received special safety training for these issues.

It remains to be seen whether or not UberASSIST will prove to be a valuable or truly useful solution for seniors who are looking to increase their independence and mobility.  The cornerstone of Uber’s services (and the reason that they often cite as their advantage over traditional taxi drivers) is their smartphone based app which allows customers to call for an Uber driver and track their progress.  This might prove to be a big obstacle for seniors who are seeking to use UberASSIST.  Smartphones are not usually the device of choice for the average senior.  How many smartphone-carrying seniors do you know?  I, for one, can’t say that I know a large number that do.

Forbes contributor Howard Gleckman recently published an article that covered the challenges facing assisted living facilities (ALFs) around the country in the next few years.  ALFs will have to respond to the demands of their customers, who largely have a negative view of care institutions.  Many seniors tend to compare ALFs with the dreaded “home”, and are quick to associate these facilities with nursing homes, which usually have less than favorable reputations among Americans.

Gleckman estimates that, due to the rising cost of long term care, these facilities will have to increase their rates, which will drive out smaller facilities and promote the growth of larger operators.  ALFs are also being pressured to provide more medical (rather than social) services to their residents, and Gleckman surmises that this will inevitably push operators toward more partnerships with medical providers and insurance networks.  Many facilities are already providing these medical services (such as medication management), but they are not always cost effective for residents, and changes will likely have to be made to keep this business model viable for operators.

Given that ALFs are a relatively new type of long term care solution, it is not surprising that they will be forced to adapt quickly to the needs of America’s aging population.  Seniors are demanding more personalized care, higher quality environments and entertainment, and greater support services for their medical needs.  Right now, ALFs are regulated by each individual state, which means that standards vary widely across America.  It is likely that regulators will have to come up with a more broad solution to address the problems and challenges in this industry.

If you or a family member have had experience with an ALF, you may have already noticed changes in the quality, cost, or availability of care in your own situation.  It looks like those changes are only the first of many to come in the next few years, so don’t get too comfortable!  The number of available ALF facilities and vacancies for residents will decline in the coming years, both due to the increasing number of aging citizens and the rising cost of health care.  This will force many families to contribute their own time, effort, and funds toward caring for their family members.  Be prepared to handle what is on the horizon for your long term care options.

Click on the image below to read the Forbes article and learn more about what is in store for assisted living facilities:

A new survey is showing what many family caregivers have already known for a while now: most people are not ready to care for their parents or loved ones when the time comes.  Baby boomers in particular are often in denial about what is on the horizon.  Check out this CBS special news report describing the costs, stresses, and difficulties of eldercare, and the lack of planning for the role.  The need for eldercare can (and often does) occur suddenly, so you will need to be ready for it when the need arises.  Don’t fear it, be ready for it!

After 30 years as a practicing elder law attorney, having to face caring for my own parents was a real eye opener. I decided to begin this blog to share practical assistance with family caregivers so that they don’t have to reinvent the wheel when caring for their own family members and friends.

Eldercare tends to sneak up on everybody involved. Adult children allow themselves to believe that their parents will never get sick or old. Parents fail to acknowledge that they will one day become dependent upon others. And ignoring the inevitable only makes it more difficult to cope when a crisis finally occurs (and it will occur, believe me!).

As you follow my posts, you will read about ongoing practical and logistical experiences (which I call “eldercare”), legal and financial issues in the elder law arena, stories, and news and tips that you hopefully will find interesting and valuable while traveling on your own eldercare journey.

My mantra is “Don’t fear eldercare, just be ready for it.” I hope to provide real solutions to eldercare challenges so that you are well packed to set off on your eldercare journey.

Welcome…and please post your comments and thoughts as you read my posts, I would love to hear from you. We are all in this together!